disability

just found out that a woman I know who is forty will be having a baby. after having a conversation with a friend who told me that the chances of having a baby with downs syndrome goes up every year after 35, i was thinking about that. my mom was 37 when she had me. when a mutual friend told me about the pregnancy, the first thing i said was "i hope the baby doesn't have downs syndrome."

i've been thinking about what i said since and i'm still confused. anyone who had downs syndrome would be totally hurt by that statement and i know on a surface level that its fucked up, but i still feel that way. i would never say, "i hope i don't have a black/lesbian/girl child," but i would say that about a disabled child.

i obviously have a lot of personal work to do about disability. i know that people with mental and physical disabilities serve just as much a role in society as i do, but its hard for me to see. i'm so used to feeling sorry for people with disabilities or more likely, sorry for the parents and family of people with disabilities that i haven't bothered to or needed to see them as fully human and alive.

the only time i've ever thought about disability as an empowering thing was when i took a class with a woman who had a physical disability. she did a presentation about viewing disabled people as serving and important and different role in society than able-bodied people and how we all need to learn to be okay with that. she said people didn't even acknowledge her or thought she couldn't do anything because of her disability. her presentation was really striking to me and eye-opening (is that ableist language??).

Website focused on disability history, community and liberation
http://www.disabledandproud.com/