trans pronouns

Last night a friend was talking about their friend who switches between he and she when describing the same person in the same story or sentence. So "He went to the car and got her sweater." I felt frustrated, because I was confused. I said "is that what transpeople really want?"

After saying it, I quickly realized transgendered people are never going to agree on what they as a group want. It's hard for me to connect with all of the different pronouns that different people use. It seems like there are so many and it's all so confusing. I know thats the point--that gender is confusing and it doesn't matter if I connect with them, but I find myself writing off people's desire to be called hir or z or switch between he and she, etc, etc.

Transgender Basics
http://www.uua.org/obgltc/resource/tg102.html